Time to Work Out!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=eI0BqH8SM_g#t=157s

Foodles

Cheffing it up:
Hey guys, I plan on cooking a whole bunch in the coming month (like 2 or 3 dinners a week) and were wondering if there was anything that you wanted in particular. I plan on having meals served up at 6pm, so be there or be hungry. As I'm going to be cooking a whole bunch I would appreciate it if everyone could clean up and put things back better. I know I have been super slacking in this department and am looking to improve. Also, my pet peeve for no rational reason is having dishes in the sink (I think it's because I consider the sink a tool and I hate dirty tools). If you guys can just put the dishes in the dishwasher when you're done that would be sweet. If it's running just put it on the counter by the compost and most likely I'll put it in later. Thanks and let me know what you guys want to eat!

-JP

Dominion strategy guide

Dominion strategy guide

While there are many different ways to play Dominion I will go over the idea of an expected value strategy. The idea behind this strategy is that in order to win the game you must buy a greater value of victory cards. This is completed by having enough money to beat the other person to the end goal of having more victory cards. As a result we are looking to maximize the expected value of each hand, in order for us to be able to purchase, near the end of the game, the highest amount of victory cards.

      At the beginning of the game we have seven coppers and three estates; this leads to an expected value of 3.5 money per hand. Eliminating one estate gives us an expected value of 3.88 money per turn, while increasing our deck to 11 cards and purchasing a silver gives us an expected value 4.09 money per hand. Under this framework we can begin to see how it is possible to evaluate various decisions based on their merit in regards to increasing our expected value per hand. While this is an all right way to evaluate non-action cards, action cards have to be given a fairly different evaluation even though their net effect is the same. Any card that does not contribute, i.e. is it says +1 action and +1 card, can be taken out of the denominator. That being said it does not account for cards that allow us to perform more actions. In order to figure out how much an action is worth, we can figure out the expected value of terminal cards and discount back the value of the action based on what the action produces when an action card is played. For example, let's say in hand we have a militia, a village, a smithy and two estates and our expected value for a single card equals 1.1. Based on this idea, we can effectively evaluate the smithy as worth 3.3. We can also valuate the militia at 2. If these are the only two terminal action cards in our deck, then the average terminal action is worth 2.6 ((3.3+2)/2).

     The next problem to consider is if the terminal action is worth X and it draws cards how do we evaluate it for the possibility of drawing another action card which cannot be played. In this case, we simply subtract all of the values from terminal action cards remaining in the deck from the deck's total value and then proceed to divide by the number of cards remaining in the deck. In this way we can effectively evaluate the possibility of drawing a card which cannot be played and compute the value of the cards drawn given the possibility that a card may be drawn which cannot be played. (23 money in cards remaining in the deck, 9 from terminal action cards and 14 from money. If there are 14 cards remaining in the deck, then we subtract out 9 from the terminal action cards to get to 14. Then we divide 14 by 14 to get expected value of 1 money per card drawn.)

     The next level in evaluating this method is when to switch the expected value of the deck. At the beginning the game we start with 10 cards and let's say our first two turns we buy a silver and a money lender. Let’s say on our first turn we bought a silver. Obviously we cannot add in the value of the silver to the remaining cards in our deck. In this regard, the deck shifts from one expected value to the next every time the discard pile is shuffled into our draw deck. Over the course the game we can see the expected value shift from at the beginning, a value of .7 money per card to .916 (11 total value (7 copper, 1 silver and money lender (worth 2 because of the necessity of trashing a copper to produce 3) equals 11 which is divided by 12 as we purchased two cards) and up and up from there. Expected value is therefore a system that has systematic regime change. While the expected value does not change instantaneously it does drastically change every time the discard pile shuffled back into the draw deck. This brings up an interesting factor where we can see that when action cards draw as part of their text, they effectively accelerate our deck towards the next regime change. Say that current value of the deck is 18 with 15 cards in the deck. After reshuffling we can expect to find a total value of the deck at 27 with 18 cards. Before reshuffling, the deck has an expected value of 1.2. After reshuffling the deck has an expected value of 1.5. The difference between the two values is .3. We then divide the difference by the number of cards in the deck (.3/15) to come up with a value of .02 which does not look like much. However when evaluated on a relative basis instead of absolute basis, we discover that it is somewhat more promising. For example, adding silver to a deck of 15 cards the total value of 18 increases the deck to a total value of 20 with 16 cards. The change in expected value for the deck before the silver and after the silver changes from 1.2 to 1.25 (18/15 and 20/16). This means that the expected value of buying a silver is .05. The expected value of drawing a card is .02 in regards to deck regime change. This effectively means that drawing three cards is better than buying silver when regarded on a holistic level. In this manner it can sometimes be seen that terminal action cards that draw, when there are no additional actions remaining, can still be better than a terminal action card that provides a specific value. This concept is called cycling or deck acceleration. We would like to get to the cards that we just purchased as quickly as possible and sometimes cycling just to get to the deck is highly beneficial, especially if the cards purchased with the current draw deck are much better than the cards already in the deck.

     Another factor that we have to consider in regards to dominion is that all players are fighting for a limited resource, the victory point cards and more specifically the provinces and or colonies. However since players are not immediately able to purchase the victory point cards, each player must build the deck in a way that the deck will be able to purchase the high cost victory point cards. In effect this means that we are in a race to purchase most of the province cards. However this does not mean we should be able to purchase a province every turn. Most likely if we are able to purchase a province every turn we have decided to purchase victory cards too late and our opponent will have an equal amount if not majority of victory point cards. This means that our deck must be able to burst at certain points in order to gain the victory point cards before our deck is sustainably able to do so. This is particularly interesting because the distribution of the amount of money we can expect to receive on any given term is not a normal distribution. Since we cannot have negative value money cards that we must play, our hand will initially take on a right skewed distribution after several turns of buying positive value cards:

                   _

      .2         /  \_

      .15     /        \_

      .1      /             \___

      .05  /                       \

             2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 :Hand Value

    When we begin to see this type of distribution we know that it is time to start purchasing victory cards. The purchase of the victory cards will shift our distribution so that it more closely resembles a normal distribution. When not able to purchase victory cards while in the stage, the goal of our deck must be to increase the average value of the distribution and especially increase the probability of obtaining a hand value that lies in the right tail of the distribution. In effect, we wish to increase the likelihood that our deck will give us high hand values. While this is by no means a complete guide, it serves as a baseline for making logical, numeric decisions in the world of dome.

JP

Week 4 Dockument RAWR (12/10 - 12/16)

Submitted / Contested Docks

Zack --> JP
Zack: Improper and unsanctimonious jest. During the channukah celebration at 10:15 last night, he made a joke regarding "8 inch girth," loudly enough for myself and many others to hear.

JP: My comment of 8 inch girth was in regards to one of the channukah presents that Michael had just opened. It was a watch with a small wristband. I estimated that it had an 8 inch girth and while after measurement it was determined to be 6 and 7/8 inches, a split second guess of 8 inches was not far from the truth. As for whether or not girth is the correct measurement, girth is defined several ways including "1. The distance around something; the circumference 2. size, bulk 3. a strap encircling an animal's body." (As from the free online dictionary) I felt that saying 8 inch girth was an accurate estimate of the new watch I had seen only moments before. It was perhaps one of the only times in life I might be able to use 8 inch girth in a non sexual connotation.

Please vote in the comment section.

Week 5 (12/17 - 12/23)

Dock of the Week:

If you fail to make a post on the blog in the current dock week, you will receive one dock that will be added to your total number of docks. Any posts made by the dock master pertaining to docks do not count.

Dubious Docks:

-Peeing on a house plant (does not include cacti). Limit 3 docks, 1 per plant.

-Entering the house without saying "YOOOOOOOOOOOOO". Do not confuse "entering the house" with "returning to the house." It must be said every time you enter the house. Limit 1 dock.

We'll start with that and see how it goes.

Expect a list of dock penalties on Wednesday which will be adjusted to the increase in expected number of docks. :)))))))))))))))))))

Docks Version 1.1.5

Dubious docks:

A list of dockabe offences will be assigned at the beginning of the week. In the event that an eligible docker performs one of the listed dockable offences, he / she will receive an automatic dock. Like the standard dock, the dubious docks must be observed by an eligible docker and submitted to the dock master. There is no time limit on the notification and the docks may not be contested. The dubious docks will be clear, and there shouldn't be any debate as to whether or not someone has commited one. The docks received from the dubious dock will be added to the standard docks when determining the dock penalties. An eligible docker may receive a dock for each of the dubious docks listed in the current week.

Dock of the week:

The dock of the week is a single dockable offence that will be announced at the beginning of the week. Unlike the dubious docks, the DotW may be something generally considered positive, and each eligible docker may only be docked once for the current DotW. These docks are not contestable, and must be observed / submitted with no time limit.

Dock penalty update:

Penalties will now span a range of accumulated docks to incorporate the increased number of docks.

Recap:

The types of docks now include, standard docks, secret docks, dubious docks, DotW. Standard docks, dubious docks and the DotW all contribute to a dock recipient's dock total, and are subject to the dock penalties. All types of docks require observation and submission, but only the standard docks are contestable.

Dock posting schedule:

Monday: Dockument
Wednesday: List of dock penalties
Sunday: Dubious docks and DotW for the next week

I would also like to encourage everyone to contribute or give suggestions throughout the week. I want to incorporate everyones ideas.

Weeks 3 & 4 Power Rankings

Week 3 and 4 AD

I do not celebrate Christmas, since Christmas is indifferent to me and will occur regardless of my exaltations. I do, however, make note of it, and am not immune to its earthly charms of nutmeg and impromptu candy. The rest remains a slow con gone right, and I am perpetually a mark. During Christmas, in response to some telluric current of Christianity, a room which previously contained rational actors will burst into spontaneous and poorly harmonized song, the lyrics for which I never know. So that I may avoid the significant social calamity which not singing would entail, I pitchily mumble a jumble of “Christmassy” words. Jesus reindeer candles pork-fat, deeply discounted consumer electronics, babies in hay.

Multiple Iterations of Santa

Multiple Iterations of Santa

This is to say, Christmas is many things to many people. The above describes my previous experiences with the holiday. For Amanda, Christmas is a high-baroque exaltation which takes roughly 35 days in fullness. For Jeff, it is an earnest night and day spent toiling to preserve silence with his parents. For Lars it presumably entails oily fish being lit on fire. These Christmases employ different decorations, foods and even (in the case of our Grecco friends) dates. It should come as no surprise, then, that they also draw upon different mythological beings. Just as there are multiple iterations of Santa in different countries, here in America there are multiple, often ignored members of his Reindeer corps. To honor these overlooked beasts of mirthful burden, the Board is proud to present week 3 A.D.’s power rankings, brought to you by the Scandinavian History Museum’s new 3-d exhibit, “Beyond Prancer: Second Tier Reindeer Painted on Old Growth Stumps.”

 

1: Christmas

Peerless among holidays, Christmas barged into our abode like a L'wha, with Amanda the fierce Mambo, and our living room a ritualist. Christmas possess us, strews out tinsel and kitsch, and right before we seriously consider adding syrup to our protein shakes, leaves us in a frigid huff. 

Christmas is a perversion, is a happening, is something which every avenue of America must position itself in reference to. This can be shown through countless Christmas specials on tv or radio, through Christmas albums, through Michael Bobleau/bubbles/bobble, through the preamble to this blog post. One cannot remain passive towards Christmas- the available attitudes towards it resemble a graph of  1/x, with antipodes of "Grinch" and "Sufjan Stevens."

Christmas, that pervasive haunt, is bestowed the Red Sleigh Down Team, in honor of its ability to co-opt even our most pure American tradition: vulgar animated TV.

 

2: Hannah

Here's a trivia question: Who, in a house full of potential Trivia Superstars, has netted the most house value from their arcane knowledge? If you haven't figured out this leading question by now, the answer is most certainly not you. Hannah went wit to wit, nerd to nerd with a potentially very stoned employee at Rick's Trees and Tits. We walked away with a free tree and our dignity intact. A rare feat when you go to Rick's.

In addition to this, Hanna has committed to joining our work out crew, and is attending the Thursday 3-D showing of The Hobbitses.

The house's original power couple is still reigning from their subterranean particle board throne.  For her continues excellence in the seeking of adorable animal videos, and for her shocking ability to adjust to seemingly inhospitable environments, Hanna is represented by Olive, from the 1997 Children's Book and 1999 TV Special, Olive, the Other Reindeer. Olive is a Dog, who mistakes a news report about an injury Blitzen suffers as a help wanted ad, and through intrepid cuteness and bravery, saves Christmas.

3: Amanda

The Board approves of the arduous parts, the slow, load bearing pieces of labor which make up our lives. The board approves of timeliness, of routine, and of all other psychic maneuverings to increase productivity. The Board approves of soup.

Amanda's newly instituted Soup Rule (one day a week, she will make a large pot of soup) was well received by all but a lone maverick, who felt that eating soup once a week would confine him. "There are already too many damn rules!" He yelled at a nearby chair, while planning his next buzz of the fly tower.

Amanda also provided the Christmas decorations (one Nordic gremlin aside) and, lest we forget, suffers us Dominion. As the  her lab job is delayed, her Time in House stats are rivaling only those of pre-career Jeff.

One Nordic gremlin aside

Most impressively, though, Amanda has aligned with the rest of our workout crew, and is now a member of The Plyometrics, our post-pop Finnish Electronica band. For her quirky and loveable irreverence, Amanda is Pedro (from the song Donde Esta Santa Claus.)

4: JP:
The power ranking powerhouse, JP has little else to do but thrash these (pseudo) weekly sortings. This week, he built a compost bin. He helped in tree acquisition. He cleaned the house, and I mean CLEANED the house, and he even called upon his father to aid him in his time of need.

At some point, though, the Board wants more. The board wants trumpet blares at 5:00 AM. The Board wants booby traps all over the basement. Your humanitarian side is not in question, sire. You're generous in time and energy, as is evident by the "let's get you less fat" workouts you lead.

But we want the madness that you promised, the spontaneity. I think that your recent porch side chat with Lars may have laid bare some deeply buried fears. That tax regulations and middle-men marching to the bureaucratic bore drums will stamp out all of your genius schemes. I hope that you express this fear in the only healthy way: humorous pranks. To inspire you, your alternative reindeer is from the inveterate prankster/comedian/country star Joe Diffie.

5: Toasters and Trashcans

Cylons and compost bins, mixed drinks and bagels. The last two weeks had an absurdly high index for toasters and trashcans. The board's rationale for pairing them follows.

1: They are both frequently aluminum sided.

2: They are both very frustrating to clean.

3: They are both frequently found in a kitchen.

Michael, the board would like to make this abundantly clear: these two items should no be combined. If the fetid alchemy of decomposition is not enough to warm your rotten gruel, just leave it in Lars' bathroom to be steamed like a humba. Do not put your molding compost into the toaster. Put it in the new compost bin, and let it be returned to the earth to rise as food again, zombie style.

Speaking of which, Bob Dylan. Or his re-animated corpse. Whichever wrote the 2009 version of "Must Be Santa" which included a line at the end, replacing the normal list of reindeer with "Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon… Carter,  Reagan, Bush and Clinton."

6: Mikey

If you're looking for Michael to come through for you on trivia, I can tell you where to find him. At the exact point in a Venn diagram where three separate friend zones overlap. Seriously, Mikey. An otherwise stellar fortnight compromised because you, YOU, couldn't be bothered to arrive at trivia.

For shame.

To aide you in your intrepid treks across the barren wasteland of Friendzonia, I bestow upon you Clyde, the camel, from Ray Stevens' song Santa Claus is Watching You, and Ahab the Arab.

7: Keyan

You appear in our lives like a blinding brilliant flash, and are gone just as quickly. Your transmuted pumpkin van may revert back after 9:30, and the pumpkin bread you make is very much appreciated. However fleeting as your appearances may be, we hold our bated breath and wait for moar. 

You are the original version of Donner and Blitzen, Donder and Blitzen. Dutch for "Thunder and Lighting." 

8: Jeff

          Like a CEO, you were given the complete reins on a lofty project. The docking has stalled. Our second week went without docks. Christmas is a stressful time, full of petty and passive aggressive opportunities for docks. I'm not telling you how to do your job. It's yours. If you need to get creative and create incentives, do it. Docking is a great responsibility  It is your responsibility. Make it work. In honor of the artistic creativity that will be necessary, I bestow upon you Adolph, the racially pure reindeer from a 1993 puppet play.

9: Lars

 I asked for creative and quirky pranks. You made a mess. Like a tempestuous infant, you acted impulsively and with no regard for those you hurt. Also, you missed a workout. Your strange oscillation between Durland and Elsewhere has been shifted, so that you now "conveniently" miss workouts. Strange that you would do so immediately upon Amanda's entrance into the workout arena. For being too afraid to be outlifted by Amanda, you are Glossie. Frank L. Baum's reindeer, who modern LGBTQ theorists speculate to be a pansexual New York night club fanatic.

10: Zack

Reaping what one sows. In this fortnight you were caught goofing off at work, and as a result, were unable to write a power ranking post for two weeks. Two Weeks. Israel could take over the entire Middle East in the amount of time it took you to even come up with a list of 10 . You have been checking the status on your law school apps like a junior high girl waiting for an invite to the dance. Lets hope that the big announcement you have planned for Saturday helps inspire more action out of you.

You receive Blintzen, the Jewish reindeer. An abomination of Universal Bunk.

Bottom Billion: Ben Conway
You, Sir, are fraud. You claim to like basketball, and yet you do not hoop with us. You claim to like board games, yet you refuse to join our nerdery on dominion. This is the awkward unveiling of our sexual fetishes. We're past the stage of sugar coating missionary and pretending to be satisfied. We are into some weird ass shit. Don't trivialize it. Either sterilize your forearm and join us, or break it off now. For your fear of committing to Online Dominion, you get Nico, the illegitimate son of Prancer, from the TV special The Flight Before Christmas.

Week 3 Dock Update

This be update. I write stuff.

NO DockumEnt ofr the week. Nobody be docking peoplezesssss.

The previouss week dock pe'alty continue to dis' week.

I initiate a vote for new rule. Simple. Blog post be not dockable offence. Eligible people vote plz, or not who cares. Meow...