Friday Funny

Friday Funny

Gone Viral! 

Clips the house has been watching the past week

We had some cold weather in the beginning of this week, so be careful.

Viral for next week!

In case you are starting to feel down, 

 listen to the wise words of this child

Week 2 Penalties

Level 1

1) Make 1 house dinner plus clean up.
2) Be in bed by 10:30 Monday – Thursday.
3) Write 2 blog posts.
4) Write a nice note to everyone in the house (plus Keyan) and perform a short dance for each member of the house. The dances will be interpretive and describe the life of each person.
5) Do everyone's laundry (if they want).

Level 2

1) Make 5 three-pointers in a row.
2) Clean the fireplace and the compost bin.
3) Buy groceries for the house based on a grocery list compiled by the other members of the house.
4) Go for a 2 mile run. (3x)

Level 3

1) Prepare and perform (to the house) a 20 minute presentation on your strategy and the roles everyone will need to play in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
2) Wash all 4 cars.
3) Read a book chosen by the other members of the house (time to complete dependent on the length of the book).

Level 4

1) Run 20 miles in the week.
2) Drink 4 trash cans at the Moon Temple on a week night (Sunday through Thursday).

Level 5

1) Write a 15 page research paper on a topic relating to your field of study in college, and share it with the house.
2) Deep clean the entire house (kitchen, bathrooms, living rooms, other common areas, vacuum / sweep bedrooms).

Level 6

1) House mates will assign three dock penalties, each from a different dock level.

Dockumnet - Week 1

Submitted / Contested Docks

Michael --> JP:
Michael: At approximately 18:20 on November 24th, JP replied, "If you stopped sucking so much dick, you could sit cross legged," to my request for someone to write a manual for sitting cross-legged. I'm submitting this dock due to the fact that I view this as an inappropriate comment to make.
JP: No comment.

JP --> Michael:
JP: At 2:00 A.M. Michael stated that he had engaged in sexual acts with an inebriated Hannah and an unstated third party. This is a dock due to it's slanderous and offensive nature.
Michael: I did not state that I engaged in sexual acts. I only stated that Hannah was drunk and I was in the same bed as her. This was going off a theme of jokes established earlier in the night by Zack.

Please vote on each of the docks listed above in the comment section below. The format of the vote will be "Docker / Dock recipient: YES / NO." You may provide an explanation for your votes in order to help everyone get a general idea of what a dockable offence is.

Rules Changes:

1) To take affect retroactively: Level 1 dock penalties will no longer be assigned to eligible dockers that have not issued a dock for the week. However, as the dock master, I encourage the use of docks for the purposes of increasing participation and making these dockuments more interesting.

2) The current rule states that a dock must be observed in order to be docked. I'm modifying "observation" to include the witness of the affects of a dockable offence. If you witness a dockable offence but do not know who is responsible, you may still dock an individual, but it is unlikely that the dock will pass a vote.

3) The house dock. As a method for introducing more docks into the system, I'm outlining a new way to dock. Designated house events or house responsibilities may result in someone being docked if they fail to attend the event, or fail to fulfill their responsibility. For example, missing a basketball game could result in a house dock, but wouldn't be subject to the normal dock. These would be separate docks, and would be in addition to the normal docks. Please comment or make suggestions below.

4) Future rule changes will be posted on the blog as a separate post or as part of the Dockument and will initiate a vote. The rule passes with 4 votes (including the dock master). Any potential rule changes may be brought to the attention of the dock master by an eligible docker.

Rule clarification: Penalty escalation occurs when a dock penalty has not been fulfilled by the end of the following dock week. The result of the penalty escalation is the assignment of an additional dock penalty from the next level of dock penalties. Example: If you fail to complete a level 1 dock penalty, you must complete a level 1 dock penalty and level 2 dock penalty by the end of the next week, otherwise the penalty escalation continues. Example 2: If you fail to complete a level 4 dock penalty, then you are assigned an additional level 5 dock penalty. The only exception to this rule is for level 6 docks penalties. When a level 6 dock penalty is escalated, the dock recipient must complete a dock penalty for all 6 levels.

Link to the rules prior to these updates.

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE BY 11:59 PM TONIGHT!!!

New Rules for Docking

1) If, during the current dock week, you do not use your dock, you will be required to complete a level 1 dock penalty. This dock penalty will be in addition to any other dock penalties you may receive, but will not add to the number of docks your receive.

2) Any rule changes may not be considered as dockable offences.

3) The House Dock: Stay tuned for more information.

Rules 1 and 2 take affect immediately.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Imma make a suggestion. We have a four day weekend. Let's try to get a board game going that we wouldn't normally play due to time constraints. I'm thinking either Diplomacy, BSG, Power Grid, Risk, or anything else I can't think of. If we play diplomacy, it's easy to spread out over multiple days or whatevs.

Leave a response of what game you would like to play and when you would be available.

P.S. All cylons will be docked.

-JP and the Argonauts

Power Rankings: Week 2 AD

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The Board would like to start by giving Thanks.

Thanks, to the countless hours you have spent dedicating yourselves to the betterment of Durland.

Thanks to those of you who have contributed to the blog.

Thanks to the nimble fingered Malaysian children who help keep labor costs down at the companies the Board members head.

Thanks to Omnicorps for protecting their foreign assets.

Thanks to Van Hollen for clear leadership on the fiscal cliff.

Thanks to Van Halen for this.

This time of the year, it's important that we all stop and count our many blessing.

My preternatural ability to glisten like a wild beast's fur. 

Mikey's incredible alcohol tolerance.

Jeff's unquenchable libido.

Often, these power rankings devolve into ad hominem attacks on house members. Not this week. This week, we celebrate and thank each other.

.

.

.

Just kidding.

  

1: Amanda    

My father has fed me many morsels of wisdom, perhaps none as profound as the following.

Whatever you do, do it well.

Certainly I haven't taken it to heart, since I'm currently writing this on Verathon time. However, Amanda's Friendsgiving dinner was a coupe de gravy. Every element was deliberate and perfected. Need some ice in that lemon infused tonic drink? Why, it's in the ice tray right there. Wishing for a hint of winter motif? The cranberries in this autumnal arrangements nod, ever so gracefully, towards mistletoe.
The feast was feastly, and the roast beast was beastly. Well done, ma'am. Well done indeed.
In addition, she landed a job, and continues to have the most sterling rating of time spent in the house.

2: Keyan 

Coach Metcalf would occaisonally take time away from his "networking obligations" (doing lines of coke off of the women's x-c coach) to proffer advise. His go to adage was that champions are made when no one is watching. I now believe he meant that it requires constant, intrinsic dedication. At the time I thought he meant "take a lot of steroids, don't get caught, and elbow your opponents in the balls when no official is looking."

Keyan, the board is always watching. You cleaned the house like an exploited immigrant in preperation for Friendsgiving. You took the magic milk pill so that you oculd fully participate in the meal. You brought home a chicken and bread for dinner. You fought for position and went strong to the hoop in basketball. You even, hopefully, spent a good part of today scooping a come up for my law library.  

3: JP

A reliable force for good and wood, JP came through in the clutch this week. He secured oodles of firewood along with Mikey. He helped secure the aforementioned berks with Keyan. He did work on the FRM. JP's biggest test is the next 6 months. He's shown, countless times, how well he works while working. We'll see how he handles a winterlong break without studying. Either he goes into full on beast mode and teaches himself COBRA , or he spends the winter hunkered in the basement with his spiders, reading Star Wars fan lit and masturbating into a protein shaker. Vegas has it at even odds.

4: Jeff

Unwavering commitment to the blog. In an unprecidented move, the Board has put a non-Zack blog contributer  behind  3 house mates who did not post. From this, we can extrapolate the following inferences.

1: Life wins provide large bumps (proven by Amanda's securing of a job and JP's FRM.)

2: Pandering pays off, but even better is just being good (see Keyan.)

3: The Board looks favorably upon those who help procure items for the house (see Keyan and JP.)

4: However, procuring items alone is not worth vaulting you above a poster (see Mikey.)

The rough rule is this:

1: Life wins

2: Blog posts

3: Procuring items for the house.

4: Hard work/Cleaning (in particular when it is not your responsibility.)

A combination of 3's and 4's can overcome a 2, or even a 1.

Got it? Good.

5: Cheeky and Fun Shennanigans.

Streamers in Lars' room. Soap box derby down Lake City. Malicious flatulance. Perhaps in a mad rush to expunge our juvenile urges before docking begins in earnest, this week saw a massive uptick in cheeky and fun shennanigans. Here's hoping that we can keep our shennanigans cheeky and fun, and not cruel and tragic evil shennanigans in the weeks to come.

6: Ben Conway

Although a few regular readers are not yet initiates into the mystical world of Moon Temple, I can assure you that Conway led half of Durland closer to enlightment. He is the second most respected authority on trashcans. He drove home (although his sobriety was in question) and stepped up his game for Friendsgiving by audibling out of greenbean casserole and pulling through with the cider.

Conway has shown that he belongs on these rankings. With great rankings comes great responsbility, though.

7: Mikey

Mikey demonstrated how powerful the idea of grounding is. He established that he likely would not arrive for basketball, and then shattered all of our expectations by arriving fully dressed and moderately sober. In addition, he helped pick up wood with JP, and lived up to his reputation as the house lush, plowering through trashcans like Jerramy Stevens through a retirement home.

8: Zack

The puppet master continues to mooch off of his good natured room mates. Fetch me wood! Gather me an encyclopedia! Drive my drunk ass home after the Moon Temple! Nurse me back to life the next day! If not the for charity and kindness of his friends, this blogger would have ended up cold and shivering in a puddle of regurgiated trash can.

9: Lars

The best that can be said for Lars is that he was a deft subject for our various verbs. He was acted upon this week, and defined by what happened to him. His room was streamered, his face was farted upon, his ability to write an essay was brought into serious question.  Lars, the world was broken and reformed when Jeff posted on the blog. This is week 2. You still have time to define yourself, rather than letting yourself be defined by others. If I were you, I'd pull an elaborate and cheeky prank- docks be damned.

10: Trash Cans

Not only the surprisingly delicious and dangerously efficient drink at the Moon Temple. Keyan managed to swoop a fancy new and extra large recycling bin for Durland. And, we have far less paper recyclables than we used to thanks to our old friend fire.

 

Bottom Billion:

 Post-Ironic Hipster Meta Commentary

Blogging about the blog, squashing the squash. We spent much of this week stuck in the same repertoire of coincidental comedy. It rang hollow. This week, we did things. Amanda smoked two turkey. Mikey passed a test. Zack chopped lumber. Lars' room was streamered. Sure we're being dominated by dominion, and yes we drank our drinks. But in doing so we almost got Jeff to take his shirt off. We are past the thumb twidling paralysis of the millenials. We are a generation apart, in an alternate timeline. We are Durland.

Week 1 Penalties

Level 1

1) Write a nice note to everyone in the house.
2) Sweep the entire main floor and vacuum the basement.
3) Make 1 dinner for the house.
4) Be in bed by 10:30 three nights during the week... Lars.
5) Do all the dishes for a day (including emptying the dishwasher).
6) Play as the terrorist in Pandemic blindfolded.
7) Go for a 2 mile run.

Level 2

1) Clean out the compost container (the one outside) and take out all garbage / recycle / yard waste (including garbage from everyone's rooms).
2) Make 3 house dinners.
3) Clean the fireplace (including creosote buildup).
4) Make 5 three-pointers in a row.
5) Buy groceries for the house based on a grocery list compiled by the other members of the house.

Level 3

1) Read a book chosen by the other members of the house (time to complete dependent on the length of the book).
2) Prepare and perform (to the house) a 20 minute presentation on your strategy and the roles everyone will need to play in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
3) Win a game of each of the following: Dominion, Settlers, Power Grid, Ticket to Ride and Pandemic (as a group or as the terrorist).

Level 4

1) Wash all 4 cars in the rain.
2) Run a 10k.

Level 5

1) Write a 10 page research paper on dominion with MLA citations.
2) Drink 4 trash cans at the Moon Temple on a week night (Sunday through Thursday)

Level 6

1) Deep clean the entire house (kitchen, bathrooms, living rooms, other common areas, vacuum / sweep bedrooms).

Click here to view the rules.

Power Rankings: Week 1 AD

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This.

Also, This.

With a little of This.

This is how change happens. All of a sudden, quite rapidly, something which once seemed impossible is now quite obviously true.

I'm not speaking of the recent sweep of queer-rights initiatives, or the plurality of states which now recognize the bond between a man and his bong. The blog is back.

The Dockmaster has risen. Jeff, climbing out of the pit like Batman, has brought us into a new age. An enlightened age. I bring you, Durland House Power Rankings... for Week 1 Anno Dockmaster (AD).

1: Jeff    
      A deep an ancient stirring, a will to create. A sense of obligation. An presterously proportioned penis. Something arose from within Jeff today. Something monstrous and beautiful. I don't need to tell you that he wrote one of the greatest posts this blog has seen to date, or that he singlehandedly brought back the blog. All I need to say is this: game recognize game. I've learned a few things about Jeff in our half dozen of months of cohabitation. He is more than he appears.
Jeff gives graciously of his time and energy, volunteering as a wrestling coach for his high school.
Jeff performs his familial obligations, giving thoughtful presents to his mother on her birthday.
Jeff plays tenacious and precise defense.
Jeff would rather eat out his mother's butt than be double teamed by his brother and father.
He's also evil. Evident in the fact that the previous dilemma of incest was his own invention. Along with the cabin of corpses. He's twisted in a way that we can't directly look at. I believe, almost hope, that this dockmaster gimmick is a troll. I'm not sure if he's real. But if he's more than a figment of our collected anguished minds, we're in serious trouble.

2: B-Con
The trope of the maddened artist, who touches the deep void of darkness in order to report back his findings. Ben Conway, the inveterate story teller, lives his life to retell it. His party was one such occasion  The board has been kind to Mr. Conway in his first week. For him, attendance with beard was enough for a sterling rating. Part of this is due to the expectation of stories to come. Enchant us, Ben, with your indulgent narratives of a foreign land called, "California."


3: Amanda

The board has always strongly weighted the participation section of its weekly assessments. Amanda has been present more than almost any house member. Her time spent here may have been directed towards peculiar pursuits (analyzing poop for fat, watching "Friday Night Lights, wallowing in cocoons by the fire.) But it was spent here, damnit. Just showing up is half of the grade. Amanda has shown that she can readily adapt to the peculiar microculture of Durland. She even played dominion. The kid gloves are still on, but for now, this was a very solid week. Factor in the beef stew on the stove and rolls in the oven, and it's clear that the board was not biased in this ranking.

4: Fire

"A dangerous servant, and a fearful master." -George Washington

"We all live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out, just the upstairs window to look out of while fire burns the house down with us trapped, locked in it." - Tennessee Williams

America has long had a fascination and fear of this plasma. We have, collectively, ventured into terrifying and  warm new waters. Lets hope it's due to thermal springs, and not us pissing ourselves. Fire has captivated Durland, and we are drawn to this phenomena. Currently, we hope to control it like Francis Bacon. Perhaps all we can do is attempt to contain it, and avoid conflagration.

5: JP

A man of many talents. his great power may come from his ability to redirect and reorganize natural, telluric currents of energy. His multiphasal sleep. His propensity with fire. His keen eye for interior decoration and landscaping. His badass costume at the party. This week, JP enlightened us with track lighting and fire. For his frequent and disturbing sound scapes, JP is given Frank Zappa. Who else could represnt the eerie power JP exudes? Zappa defies you to trivialize him. Zappa is an old knowledge in a new terry suit. Likewise, JP III.

6: Zack

Many of Zack's accomplishments this week were tied to JP's. He provided great bounties of wood for the fire. He aided and abetted in the track lighting. He provided the impetus and support for the mural. He planned and coordinated the party. Each of these, however, depended upon the labors of others. Each of these projects resulted in a product which challenged the expectation of what was to be delivered. You wanted fire wood? Here's a smashed up dresser. You wanted a mural? Here's a room-sized piece of street art. Want a party? How about a shitshow, with dolphins. His value added was shockingly low, this post excluded. Let's hope that with law school apps wrapping up, he'll be more available for public input, and that he'll take on more new projects.

7: Glasser
Loving him unconditionally is nearly impossible. Hating him constantly is almost as difficult. But in any given moment, you will do one of the two. He is a roman candle in a trapeze artists' hand. He is a heavy, wooden sign on a lake, reading "thin ice." He is a self fulfilling prophecy of doom. He is a self contained party.
The house has now known Glasser, and came out singed but not immolated. He is a force of entertainment might. He has crazy eyes. He may or may not have ties to organized crime. He will most assuredly fight off dementia in his waning years. There will be bad biopics and good books inspired by his life. He will indirectly and directly cause thousands upon thousands of pregnancies.

8: Mikey
The board, as has been stated previously, is a big fan of the blog. And it certainly read JP's seminal post regarding the various housemates failures. Zack's low ranking is in part because he has not yet remedied the very real criticisms brought forward in this document. Mikey's ranking is because it's gotten worse.

First, the good. He secured what might have been Durland's first non-dating booty call with Camera/Cam'ron/Cameroon/Macaroon. In addition, he played well in basketball. Yet he is still fighting demons in his sleep, as he struggles to construct e a meaningful narrative for himself. He is now an assistant manager at a fast food restaurant. I believe that he is currently embarking on a deconstructionist project, stripping away conceptions of success and failure and attempting to find intrinsic motivations for his labor. Such logotherapy is hard, and the transitional states are messy. Until Mikey finds his meaning, he'll continue to have low rankings. A man who sleeps through a workout in front of a fire is not a man possessed. Mikey, find your meaning.

9: Lars
The top 8 this week were tightly clustered. The gap between Mikey and Lars is far greater than the cardinal difference suggests. Lars, you pulled a Lars. You were absent a vast majority of the week. Your costume was original, but lacked any degree of commitment. A simple pillow in the shirt would have helped; even a "Hello, my name is Bruno" name tag. Instead, you looked like an overdressed stripper or an underdressed Uncle Moneybags.
You've been given a differential diagnosis by JP. And Mr. Frankl, above, can help you cure it. This medicine is distilled from hard work and serious introspection, though. As far as the board is concerned, you are a partial citizen of Durland. You seem to have accepted this role, as an often maligned source of contempt. We want more. You have pressing obligations to Nat and your family. Do not let these overshadow your duty to house and friends.

10: Keyan

The hyperbole with which the board decreed that Lars is only a partial citizen was simply that: hyperbole. You, Keyan, though not a rent paying member of the house, are a full fledged member of the rankings. You continue to seem conflicted by this fact. This house, like so many eligible single women, is begging for you. The basement yearns for you, yet you spurn it. You arrived at the party in a half assed costume, without a single guest. You seem like a man attempting to be multiple men. You are the classic Platonic paradox, the many or the one. Are you a guestlike house member or a house-member like guest. Unlike Virginia, the board will not lower its expectations. And, since the hallowed Dockmaster has vested you full partnership, the has granted you full responsibility. Stop running. Come home.

Bottom Billion: Acrasia

Man is the naming machine. We taxonomize and categorize, attempting to control our environment. This week, JP named the stagnant malaise which had settled among us, like a dampening fog. Acrasia, he called it. And as he spoke the word, it was as if the fog had lifted. In a moment of magical bizarro-Beattlejuice-ism, the affliction departed. Lars lifted this week. Keyan partied. Zack finished his long procrastinated apps. Mikey studied at a library. The projects we had planned for this house all came to fruition, culminating with Jeff writing a blog post. Acrasia, we know your name. We shall inscribe the name of three angles on an amulet, and drape it across our genitals. We will use black magic and black coffee to defeat your damp ennui. Never again shall you dominate the Durland. Unless, of course, Jeff reneges on his Docking duties. Your earthly manifestation, a being of pure gripe and passivity, has been banished to the far regions of our house. We free women and men of Durland shall not stay hidden and unproductive. 

Eight Inch Girth

Example of a Dockument

Note: Rule changes may have changed the accuracy of this example. For more information on the formatting of future Dockuments, see the Terms and Rules below.

This Dockument is brought to you in part by Gladiator.

Commodus: They tell me your son... screamed like a girl when they nailed him to the cross. And your wife... moaned like a whore when they ravaged her again... and again... and again.
Maximus: Dock.

In order to vote, list the name and number of the dock. (ex. Jeff:1 - yes / no)

Jeff
1) Took off pants and proceeded to hump Lars' bed. (7/19, Lars)
2) Insulted Michael's mother. Michael asked, "What does a colon look like?" Jeff responded instinctively, "Your mother." (7/19, Michael)
3) Indecent flatulence in the cooking area. (7/20, Zack)
4) Inappropriate and offensive language. Lars to Jeff, "Where are you going?" Jeff, "Your mother's ******." (7/20, Michael)
5) Defaming JP's personal whiteboard. (7/20, JP)

JP

1) Mooned and then rubbed his big jelly filled behind on Lars' bare arm. (7/19, Lars)
2) Pulling hairs out of his *** with tweezers. JP did not initiate this behavior in private.

Lars

1) Inappropriate joke at the Chelan water park. Even the younglings heard. (7/14, Zack)
2) Emptied **** basket onto Zack's bed when Zack was not around. Lars may have left at least one of his "donations" in Zack's pillow case.

Michael
1) Took off his pants, pulled his underwear up as high as possible, and began pelvic thrusting in the direction of Lars' bed. (7/19, Lars)
2) Eating out of the compost bowl. Michael blended the food waste, added a bit of sugar and water, then consumed the product.

Zack
1) Bad / poorly received joke at Chelan campsite. (7/15, Lars)
2) Text fail. Zack sent a text that reads, "Hey! I've been listening to a ton of Joanna newsome, who always makes me think of you. Miss you! Will I see you on Tuesday?" Lars received it instead of the intended recipient. (7/20, Lars)
3) Failure to pay the Washington State usage tax on the carpet he carries with him at all times.

/example

Rules and Regulations

Terms

Dock Master: Jeff / God. 

Docker: The individual from the list of eligible individuals who initiates the dock of an eligible dock recipient.
Dock Recipient: Individual from the list of eligible recipients who has been targeted to receive a dock as of a result of an alleged offence.
Dock: The response of an eligible docker to a dockable offence made by an eligible dock recipient.
Dockable Offence: An act that is deemed dock worthy by the eligible docker and is subject to the eligible docker's interpretation.
Contested Dock: A dock that will put up to a vote at the end of the week.
Passed Dock: An approved dock that does not receive a vote.
Denied Dock: A dock that does not receive the required number of votes to pass.
Dockument: The post of dock news and contested / passed docks. Eligible dockers will respond to the dockument by voting to pass or deny each contested dock.
Secret Dock: See below.

Rules

-Eligible dockers are limited to one dock per week.
-Dockable offences must be observed by the eligible docker.
-The docker is not required to reveal a dock to the dock recipient or any other eligible docker at the time of the dock.
-Eligible dockers are Jeff, JP, Lars, Michael, Zack, Amanda and Keyan.
-Eligible dock recipients are are Jeff, JP, Lars, Michael, Zack, Amanda and Keyan.
-The current dock week is defined by the date / time of Monday 12:00 AM through Sunday 11:59 PM.
-Docks must be submitted to Jeff via Facebook / email within 8 hours of the dockable offence.
-Docks submissions must include the date and time of the dock. They must also include a description of the dockable offence and the reason why the offence qualifies as dockable.
-The dock recipient must be made aware of the dock by the docker AND receive a detailed description of the dock no later than the time of the submission to the dock master.
-The dock recipient must submit a response to the dock in order for the dock to become a contested dock. The Response must be submitted no later than 8 hours after the docker submitted the dock proposal to the dock master. Failure to submit a response in the appropriate time will result in a "passed dock".
-All eligible dockers must vote to pass or deny a contested dock by Tuesday at 11:59 PM following the end of the dock week.
-When a dock is openly announced by the docker, either at the time of the dockable offence, or within the next 8 hours, the docker reveals that he has an intent to dock. Intent is proven when the docker submits a dock to the dock master. If no dock is submitted after a dock is revealed, then the docker in question is stripped of docking privileges for the week. The dock master will be aware of the falsified dock by notification of the dock recipient. A dock recipient will notify the dock master when, 8 hours after the dockable offence, the dock recipient has not received a detailed submission of the dock from the docker. (ex. If the docker notifies the dock recipient of the dock 7 hours after the dockable offence, then the docker has one hour to send a detailed submission to the dock recipient.)
-The secret dock: If an eligible docker observes a dockable offence, but has no docks available in the current week, the eligible docker may still send a submission of the dockable offence to the dock master. The submission must be made no later than 8 hours after the dockable offence. The dock recipient does not need to be notified of the dockable offence. These submissions will be taken into consideration by the Dock Master, and may result in penalties for the dock recipient. These penalties will be in the form of dock sanctions and will not come from the list of proposed dock penalties.

Responsibilities of the Dock Master

-Create and maintain a set of rules for Docking. The Dock Master will accept suggestions for amending the set of rules at any time.
-Post one Dockument every Monday as a platform for presenting the weeks docks and to vote on the contested docks. Any rule changes will be included in the dockument.
-Make rulings on the "possible" penalties of receiving docks. For more information on the penalties, see below.
-Make rulings on the penalties for secret docks.

Penalties

Eligible dockers may submit proposals to the dock master that will detail a penalty for receiving a dock. The proposed penalty is not limited to a range of difficulty. The dock master will make a ruling on whether the proposed penalty is fair and should be included in the list of dock penalties. The dock master will also make a ruling as to the number of docks that and eligible dock recipient must receive in order to qualify for the proposed dock penalty. The eligible dock recipient will choose among the list of dock penalties that match the number of docks that he / she has received. Penalties must be completed within the following dock week. Additional penalties may be added if the penalty is not fulfilled within the appropriate time period. Penalties may include exceptions require the dock recipient to fulfill the penalty in a time outside the following dock week.

PLEASE POST PENALTY PROPOSALS IN THE COMMENT SECTION BELOW (Or send the proposals to the Dock Master via Facebook or email)

THE FIRST DOCK WEEK BEGINS NOVEMBER 19TH AT 12:00 AM

/post