Week 2 Power Rankings

Ladies and Gentlemen,


It's back and better than ever. Due in no part to Jeff's sniveling whining, Week 2 Power Rankings. Get it while it's hot.
A new feature this week, the bracketed numbers indicate last week's ranking, with (UN) signifying unranked.
In addition, this week's power rankings were produced in collaberation with a grand friend of the blog Tom Waits, who also modeled for the Power Ranking logo to the right. Thanks, TW.


10: Wireless Router  (UN)
It shouldn't be this difficult. The intarwebs is coming into the house, directly from the mountain spring and bottled at the source. All we want you to do, Mr. Router, is atomize this bountiful resource and disperse it into the ether, where our computers can smell it and gain its power. I have died too many lag deaths in Diablo 3, and I'm not even in inferno.
I dedicate this one to you, router. For breaking my heart on the memorial day weekend. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEPX1CMPiTA
9: Flies (1)
We are now in the process of cleaning up after the slaughter. The combination of chemical warfare and espionage has proven too much for these filthy specks with wings. Our first victory came agianst a mighty airforce. Perhaps the next will come at sea, but those buzzing bastards are gone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feTLUntrls8
8: Creativity (UN)
We couldn't come up with anything better than "cream-otorium" or "smegma." Come on. We're the future-smartest-guys-in-the-room and we couldn't do better than semen jokes? Boo. Boo on us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ4sK-Q42AU&feature=related The good Dr. Waits is going to set us straight on what true creativity looks like.
7: JP (UN)
Look, man. We all know you're going to pass. So you showing up inexcusibaly late to dinner with a nebish girlfriend is not cool. Stop the pretext. You're "studying" with a comic book interposed among the textbooks just to have an excuse not to do any real work. It's degrading to people like Lars who are actually working their butts off to study in addition to rocking a full time job. If you're looking for something to do with all the spare time you should have, ask this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GugzLSbOQE
6: Jeff (6)
Stuck in the 6 spot, Jeff has so much yet to tapped potential. He could come through with the full dining set. He could get a job and stop whining about the lack of power rankings. He could learn to eat food not readily avaliable at a McDonalds. But instead he just skulks around upstairs, and sabatoges any productive conversations of house names with his vulgarity. He is the most likely Benedict Arnold among us, the one who created an underground railroad to usher in the Flies.
For your constant and unabating vulgarity, I give you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6Q-gR8bW40
 5: Lars (UN)
If not for JP's piss poor performance, he would have fallen further. We were anchored at 45 minutes late, so Lars looks damn timely by showing up 30 minutes late and even texting ahead of time, even if the text arrived even later. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktCocv-bBDg. You know why you get this one, Lars. You know.

4: Zack
Breakfast burritos today, a full Indian buffet on Monday, cookies again, but this time with candied almonds and french fries on demand. Throw in the smattering of so-so breakfasts, and we're still doing ok. It's not the full catering service which is set to arrive on Sunday, but it aint nothing. Also, level 58 in Diablo 3, act 3 of Hell, thankyouverymuchforasking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V-sKVGDEiU
3: Previously ranked #1 this week Oven (10) 
The biggest swing yet, we have a new oven coming in on Friday, between 10:30 and 2:30. I assured Kourosh that we could have someone there, in fact, I said that "I could arrange that." So now our landlord thinks I'm a mafia big wig. Perhaps this will help resolve the rent paying problem above. Regardless, whoever is going to man up and wait around the house tomorrow afternoon, Kourosh wants them to put the old oven in our garage, since he's hoping to find a "use for it." I'm getting a little hint of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaLjwSpZ6Cs
with this.


2: Paying Rent (2)
For the second time. That's right, it happened so suddenly, and we're a little bit up a waterway of fecal matter. I don't have a checkbook, and I won't be able to swing by the bank tonight (since I'm still at work, fuck month's end) and I certainly can't make it tomorrow before work. So... this ranking is actually a bit speculative. I'm putting a number 2 on here because I'm confident that we are going to work this out. 
Somehow. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsIl4eIwufk Mikey has stepped up and written a check. We should all make out check or cash payments to him, and thank him for being a thug.

1: Previously ranked #3 this week Mikey (7)
A big jump for Mikey, who came through in the clutch with spicy as hell korean food, a bevy of ingredients from H mart and an entertaining round of "drinking" games. If not for his tendency to disappear for days, he could've been a contender for the top spots. Mikey has stepped up and written a rent check for tomorrow, and in doing so has earned the number one spot for the week. Have fun sitting on your spikey throne, Mikey. Between his incessent piano playing and his exhaustive knowledge of drinking games, I'm givin Mikey this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woJjIQssZw8

Week 1 Power Rankings

Ladies and Gentlemen,


I am excited and proud to present the inaugeral installation of what will hopefully be a recurring feature of our YTB named abode, the Weekly Power Rankings.

Without going into too much detail, these will be a place for people to comment on the going ons of our house, and keep each other posted despite our varied work and life schedules.

-Zack


10: Oven
A poor showing this week from one of our major appliances. It doesn't turn off without either manually flipping the circuit breaker, or setting a timer, which can often take a minimum of 6 hours to finish. Hopefully the repairman scheduled to come this afternoon will be able to boost this.

9: Structural Integrity
After speaking with Kourash last night, he said that the balcony is "not supposed to have more than one person on it," and that he just had it "reinforced" last year. If that balcony is up to code, then we have a serious problem with the codes.

8: Kourosh
He tried to sneak out of his house when Mikey and I went over to tell him about the oven, and was fully aware of the oven problem beforehand, but "forgot" to mention it. He was flippant about the blacony, and keeps calling me only during normal working hours. BUT... he bought us a bunch of fly control sprays, and set up the repair guy for the oven very promptly, and was able to come over to chat on 10 minutes of notice. On avaliability he gets an A+, on responsiveness  a B-, on appreciation for human life a fatty F.

7: Mikey
Mikey has been strangely absent from the house, spending two hours walking from the U-District home, and running around town performing odd jobs. Even his hat trick in league play couldn't catapult him higher on these housing rankings. He's been like Arjen Robbin of late, running around with a dodgy flapper, disappearing for huge stretches and only reappearing to score goals.

6: Jeff
Avaliable to explain the oven situation to our repair guy, providing a modem and router, being a presence around the house and fouling people in his basketball game. A very productive week for Jeff, despite not having what a suit would call  a "job."

 5: House Plants
They're fucking everywhere. Some are leaving with Amanda to Friday Harbor. Some are staying. But a shockingly strong showing this week for house plants, given the fact that most pundits didn't have them in the top 200 in their pre-season rankings.

4: Zack
 Breakfast sandwiches on Sunday, bacon corn and onion griddlecakes on Tuesday, crespellas with hazelnut sauce and whipped cream on Wednesday and a double batch of chocolate chip oatmeal almond cookies with raisins. All this while handling kourosh, killing over a hundred flies and being the first in his office to beat Diablo. In addition, he's writing this blog. Killing this shit.

3: Orcas
 Speaking of killing, killer whales are set to go off with the arrival of our very own Amanda Phillips. She's peacing for Friday Harbor Thursday morning, and won't be seen for a month. Boon for orca whales, bust for house plants and my sex life. Add in the mystery of the albino orca and the canadian sonar v/ US naval explosion conspiracy theory, and Orcas are coming in hot.

2: Mason Jars
They just keep showing up in the kitchen, full of all of our baking needs. More and more. An unstopable torent of them. Don't call it a come-back, they've been here for years.

1: Flies
See above. They just keep showing up in the kitchen, full of all of our baking needs. More and more. An unstopable torent of them. Don't call it a come-back, they've been here for years.
With well over a hundred flies and counting, they are the undisputed champions of the week 1 power rankings.

Unranked: JP, Lars, Carly Jepson